


Say Yes to This

by viklikesfic (v_angelique)



Series: When You're Living on Your Knees [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Activism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Asexual Character, Coming Out, Dom/sub, First Time, M/M, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Other, Polyamorous Alexander Hamilton, Polyamory, Switching, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-10 19:19:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8932717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/v_angelique/pseuds/viklikesfic
Summary: Oops I a Hamilton fic? Modern AU, Hamilton's a young immigration attorney and Laurens is a racial justice organizer in present-day New York. They're already in a kinky poly relationship when Lafayette stumbles into their lives. This is the first one-off in what I expect to be a long-running series.





	

"Hey. How was the meeting?" Alex asks as the door to their walk-up swings shut, glancing up from their sticker-plastered Macbook. 

"I invited a new guy to dinner Friday night," John replies with a little smile that reads as both shy and excited. Alex smirks at their partner as John tosses his leather jacket and keys over hooks by the door before coming to join them at the kitchen table.

"You minx."

"Invited him to dinner with _both_ of us, I mean."

“Wait, I’m gonna get to meet your crush? You _delightful_ minx." Alex grins and hooks a finger in the D-ring of John's thin brown leather collar when he gets close enough, pulling him down for a kiss. "Is he cute?"

"Gorgeous. Better, though, he commented on my hanky." Alex raises a brow and tips their chair back onto two legs so they can peer around and see John's right back pocket. The handkerchief folded and tucked neatly there is dove grey, and Alex grins again as they right themselves. 

"He knew what it meant?"

"Well...he had to confirm. He's French, he's only read about the hanky code online. But definitely kinky, definitely queer. He's looking for community in New York, and when I told him I'm poly and invited him to dinner with my partner and I he was into it."

"Hot. Wait, we're not actually cooking, are we?"

"Fuck no," John laughs. Between them, they can handle omelets, tostones, mofongo, burgers, tacos, and a kind of half-assed arroz con pollo, but that's about it. "I'm ordering in Indian. He's down for spicy."

"Good," Alex snickers as they get back to writing their brief, "cause you're spicy-delicious."

~*~

"Ah, you are Alex, yes? I am Lafayette. It is truly a pleasure to meet you,” says the tall dark and handsome stranger in the doorway, offering a bottle of red as Alex tries not to gawp at him. When they reach for the wine, Lafayette bends down and presses a soft, deliberate kiss to each of Alex's cheeks.

"Uh… yeah, that’s me. Come on in, man," Alex invites, stepping back to let Lafayette into the small apartment. "John's just setting the table."

"You got kisses!" John remarks from where he's indeed trying to wedge plates in around the takeout containers on their little round table. "Why didn't I get kisses when we met?" He's grinning his most cheeky grin, relaxed and open, which is more than a new friend usually gets from him. Alex would be excited about a new potential metamour if they could just scrape their jaw up off the ground.

"Ah," Lafayette looks slightly embarrassed. "It is... less common, when two men greet one another. But I am happy to give you a kiss if you prefer." His eyes sparkle as John assures him that he's just playing and goes in for a hug, but Alex is momentarily distracted by the swell in their chest at being so casually recognized in their gender identity. John had reassured them that he'd given Lafayette a head's up, and even an impromptu English lesson on the singular they, but it's still terribly affirming. Pushing themselves to quit staring like an idiot, they scurry to fetch glasses for the wine instead.

"Is Herc in his room?" they call over their shoulder, hesitating over a fourth glass. They'd only gotten home themselves about fifteen minutes prior, just enough time for a quick shower and change of clothes.

"Nah, he's out till late. Can you grab napkins while you're in there?"

"Yep." Pouring three generous glasses of Côte du Rhone, Alex relies on too many years as a server to safely get them all to the table at once, along with the napkins. 

"Please, sit," John instructs Lafayette, gesturing to the middle of the three chairs. "Can I get you anything that's not on the table?"

"Not at all. Thank you for dinner—it is smelling delicious."

"Thank Modhu Mita. This shit saves my ass on a near weekly basis," Alex admits. "We're both hopeless in the kitchen."

“And also busy, I believe. I know about John's work—are you also a community organizer?"

"No. I'm an immigration attorney with Legal Aid," Alex explains, dishing up lamb rogan josh and jalfreezi for himself along with a couple of pieces of naan. "What about you? You met John at the Black Lives Matter POC solidarity thing, right?"

"Yes, but I am actually an activist only in the evenings. I came to New York because of a vacancy of a job at the United Nations."

"Believe me, we're not complaining." John grins. "Also, babe, this seating arrangement may have been poor planning."

Alex shrugs. "I have long arms," they reason, though it's patently untrue and they have to lean halfway over the table to deliver a torn-off piece of naan, folded over a morsel of lamb, to John's mouth. John takes it with his hands folded behind his back and finishes chewing the bite while Alex explains.

"Sorry. It's kind of a thing between us. Ritual."

"Do not excuse yourself for that," Lafayette smiles. "You are quite beautiful together. It is... how you say... _un protocole_ , the English is similar is it not?"

"Protocol, yeah. You're familiar with the concept?" Alex takes a sip of their wine, still not totally over how handsome John's new crush is.

Lafayette shrugs and takes a sip from his own glass. "Like I told John... I share an interest. I am not pretending to be an expert, but I have enjoyed several relationships with an element of the power exchange. I pass time in the clubs when I am in Paris, and... I am eager to be learning where one goes in New York."

At that, John laughs. "Man, we're probably the worst resource ever when it comes to that kind of thing. I mean...we've been to play parties, I went to them more before we got together, but we mostly do our own thing here at home. We're too busy with work to go out much."

“You have luck, then." Lafayette smiles. "I prefer such home arrangements myself, but the clubs are useful for meeting others with the same tastes. A necessary... what is the phrase?"

"Necessary evil," Alex offers. 

"Ah, yes, thank you. Sometimes evil is necessary," he suggests, meeting Alex's eye with such an indecipherable look that they wonder if he might actually grasp the double entendre. 

"Sometimes," they agree. "So...are you looking for anything in particular right now? We know a few people, maybe we could introduce you."

"I am not in a hurry," Lafayette replies, pinching a bit of cauliflower with his naan and eating it while he contemplates. Alex can't help but notice that he has large, capable-looking hands—but maybe they're just sex-starved after so long with a single, mostly-ace partner. "Like you, I am not interested in monogamy, but actually I am unattached by chance. I am attracted to many genders... I like to, what is it… to spoil a partner. That is what I most like about dominance--the opportunity to focus my energy on another person with intensity that… the people outside of our community can be finding unpleasant. I suppose I become easily obsessed, in romantic liaisons. It is not my quality the most attractive," Lafayette admits with a self-deprecating smile. Meanwhile, Alex is just trying to figure out why the directness of his gaze has them so unsettled.

"I don't know," he offers, softly. "Guess it depends on who you're dating."

“This is true," Lafayette agrees, raising his glass as Alex glances to John and finds their boy grinning in a rather inexplicable manner.

~*~

"Sorry it's such a mess," Alex says as they quickly move stacks of highlighted print-outs and books to the floor to make room on the overstuffed sofa while John does the dishes. 

"No, please, do not excuse yourself. Your home is very comfortable." 

Alex laughs, settling next to Lafayette on the cleared sofa and twisting to face him, wine stem in one hand and their legs tucked up in a pretzel-like twist. “Comfortable, right... someone should tell Manhattan rental agents that." Lafayette smiles, whether he gets the reference or not, and rests a hand gently on Alex's ankle.

"I hope you will excuse me if I am too direct, Alex, but I must comment that your eyes are the most _frappantes_... hitting? I do not think that is the English word. It means beautiful, but... a better word than beautiful."

Alex blushes, but also empathizes with the man's struggle to find the right term in a second language. "Striking, I think you mean?"

"Yes, that is it, thank you. Your eyes are the most striking." Lafayette smiles and circles Alex's bare ankle gently with his index finger. 

"Thanks." Alex can feel their cheeks getting even hotter, particularly as the silence stretches out, though Lafayette doesn't seem bothered. “I'm, uh..." they grin, ducking their head a bit. "I'm bad at flirting. But you're really hot," they end up-half mumbling towards their own knee. They're about to bring the wine glass to their lips again when Lafayette's fingers find their chin, gently nudging up. 

"You don't have to be good at flirting," Lafayette assures them. "You are very charming like yourself." Alex wants to duck their head again, but Lafayette's hand stays where it is, thumb caressing their jaw. They can feel the butterflies rising in their stomach at his uncompromising gaze. 

"Charming?" They laugh. "That's John. Whom you should totally go for, by the way. You know, submissive dude, really cute, great kisser, currently in the kitchen?" They're talking quickly, anxiety rising, and Lafayette seems to sense it and drops his hand.

"John is beautiful. I find him very attractive. I would enjoy having the two of you, together... but I believe you are needing some personal attention first, n'est-ce pas? Please tell me if I am making you uncomfortable."

"Uh... yeah? Kind of? But like... not in a bad way," Alex laughs nervously, putting the wine down so they can futz with their ponytail. "You're really hot and I haven't dated anyone but John in a long time and I haven't had sex in like, forever, so if that's where this is going I should warn you that I may not be amazing in bed though John would probably be thrilled if I got some... I mean, assuming you're into that, I don't want to make assumptions... sorry, I'm way better in writing," they break off with a helpless grin.

Lafayette laughs, but it doesn't feel like he's laughing _at_ them at all, definitely not when he leans in and cups them gently by the back of the head, pressing their foreheads together. "You are beautiful, chérie. Perhaps I should be explaining my intentions."

"Um... maybe?" Alex is barely audible, their heart feeling like it's going to thump out of their chest at the intimate embrace. Lafayette boldly holds them there a moment, breathing, eyes closed, before he leans back just enough to create some space.

"I felt an alchemy between us at dinner. I would like to explore that. I would like to explore that with the aid of John, if he is willing. I would like to explore him, also, but I sense that you would be benefiting from a particularly...thorough exploration." Lafayette's voice dips, low and intimate, and Alex gets goosebumps on their arms. "It does not need to be sex, though I am _en fait_ … into that. We do not need to hurry."

"Um... I... yeah. That sounds good. But if it's not sex, what is there that you want to explore?" Alex asks, hating the way their voice cracks. Lafayette just laughs, low and dirty. 

"Oh," he promises, looking up and over Alex's shoulder. "I have many ideas. What do you think?"

Behind them, John laughs. "Babe, I cannot _believe_ you just asked him that question."

~*~

_Years earlier_

“Hey, come on in. How was the exam?”

“Fucking amazing,” Alex exclaims, stepping into John’s tiny room practically vibrating with energy. John’s eyebrows go up skeptically as he reaches past Alex to pull the door shut. 

“Taking a criminal procedure exam was _amazing_. Are you high?”

“Kind of,” Alex laughs, tossing their jacket over John’s chair and flipping the hood of their hoodie back, kicking their shoes off and tugging John to come sit facing one another on the bed. “I have no idea how the exam went... I was in the middle of writing an essay and I had a total revelation.” 

“Oh God. Is this gonna be like the time you went vegan for a semester?” John snickers, his eyes warm, and Alex is one hundred percent sure in that moment that they’re doing this, and it’s the right move. Still, there are enough burned-in social expectations of masculinity and machismo and heteronormativity that they can’t help a little wave of nerves. The whole walk over, they’d coached themselves through a series of reminders about John’s personality, his general queerness, his activism. They’ve talked causally on many occasions about topics like how non-monogamy fits in with anarchism and why more men aren’t feminists. John isn’t gonna freak—but still.

Smiling nervously, they clear their throat. “Nah, man. Kind of a bigger deal than that. Uh, so, there are two parts,” they explain, holding each hand out like it holds a topic. "And one I’ve known about for a long time but I haven’t felt like speaking up about it, cause I guess it’s not that big a deal, except when it is, and the other... literally just came to me but it makes a lot of fucking sense… I don’t really have a plan for how to do this but I’m tired of waiting when it comes to shit like this, so carpe diem, right, I mean, the worst you could do is tell me to go fuck myself…”

“Right, like I’m gonna do that,  _chacho_ , you’re crazy,” John interrupts Alex's frantic stream-of-thought rush of words. "How long have we been friends?” 

“Yeah,” Alex smiles. “Okay, point taken. So… uh, well, point number one, ladies and gentleman of the jury… I’m not exactly a a guy.” They reach up, scratching at the back of their head, and look into their lap rather than directly at John to explain. “And I’ve known that forever, pretty much, but I guess now there’s more shit on the Internet to explain it, and… I’m thinking about maybe asking people to call me ‘they,’ instead of he. Maybe. Socially, anyway. So... that’s a thing.”

“Fuck,” is John’s first reply, but before Alex can get nervous, he’s launching forward into a hug that knocks Alex back against the headboard in its ferocity, and they can’t help but start laughing.

“Dude. Breathing, it’s important.” 

“Sorry, I just… that’s awesome. That you are. And that you told me. You weren’t really worried, were you?” John asks, pulling back enough to sit up normally. "I mean, I probably hang out with more queer people than anyone else you know.”

“Well… only a little,” Alex admits, pushing themselves up from John’s mound of pillows. “I figured you’d be cool. But I haven’t done this in person yet. The coming out thing. You’re the first person I’ve told.” 

“ _Fuck_ ,” John repeats, grinning. “That’s… really cool. I mean, I’m honored. Or something. Do I sound like a dick? I’m just… glad you feel safe with me.” 

Alex laughs. “Yeah, man, I’ve got it. Actually, that’s… kind of a good segue. To the other part.” 

“Oh, right. You said there was another part.”

“Yeah, kind of… the bigger part. Maybe? I don’t know, shit… I should’ve composed a speech for this.” 

“You really, really shouldn’t have,” John snorts. “I was at your graduation, remember?”

“That was dope. Don’t even lie, you know that was dope.” 

“You’re lucky they didn’t rescind your law school admission. But go on, tell me. I don’t need a speech.”

“Okay. So I guess… I was in the middle of my exam, and I suddenly realized that I’m in love with you? Like…honestly. You’re my best friend, but also, I’m in love with you. And it just makes a shit-ton of sense, and I can’t take the thought back. So I thought you should probably know. And maybe see if you want to get dinner some time?” Smile sheepish, Alex’s hands are twisting around each other like they do sometimes when they’re nervous, but John looks completely awestruck, so probably that answers their question about whether their giant fucking crush was evident to everyone except for them.

“Wow. Really?” John’s voice is soft, but he doesn't look disgusted or appalled, so Alex can work with that.

“Really. Seriously. I guess… I keep going on dates but then what I really want in a partner is… you. And I hadn’t put that together until three hours of sleep and truly terrifying quantities of Red Bull and the stupidest hypothetical set of facts I have ever seen a professor come up with…” 

“That you’re in love with me.”

“Yep.”

“Damn. That’s…huh.” John’s shell-shocked look gradually softens into a little smile, and then a light laugh. “I had the biggest crush on you for like, a year.”

“Really?” Alex grins, then frowns. “Does that mean you’re over it?”

“I don’t know,” John smiles. “You got comfortable. We ended up spending all our time together. But… you might be able to coax me back into it, now that I know you’re interested.” 

“Oh, right. So… yes to dinner?” Alex knows they're doing the eager puppy dog thing by John’s reaction, but he holds up a hand rather than responding immediately.

“Hold up. I mean… I’m not saying no, but if we’re having confession hour probably I should say a couple of things, too. Especially if you’re thinking about dating me.” 

“Oh. Right. Sure.” 

“Nothing bad, I don’t think,” John says. “But I have a couple of…dating prerequisites... that haven’t come up. Since I didn’t think that you’d… you know.”

“Arbitrarily confess my love at five in the afternoon while wearing the same pair of underwear I’ve had on for three days? Yeah, neither did I.”

“Oh God, gross,” John groans, playfully shoving them. “ _Anyway_. It’s not as big a deal as a secret gender identity, I guess, but I’ve been hanging out online a lot too. And I think… well, I’m starting to feel like I might identify as asexual,” he explains in his usual calm, quiet tone for serious conversations. “Or mostly, at least. I don’t think about sex the way most guys do. And the more stuff I’m reading, the more it makes sense. So that’s…possibly a barricade to getting into a romantic relationship with me. Also, I’ve been going to one of those play parties Sofia’s always talking about for a couple of months, and I think I might be into kinky stuff. Well… I’m pretty sure I am.” 

“But not sex?” Alex asks, cocking their head to the side. “How does that work?”

John shrugs. “It’s not the same thing. It’s actually really cool, cause I didn’t think I _could_  be ace when I first read about it, since I still want relationships and I still really like being touched,” he admits with a blush. “But I’m hardly ever thinking about putting my dick in someone, and that part always just feels…awkward, I guess? But I like other kinds of intimacy. So I’ve been to parties and tried a couple of things, and I suspect I might be a masochist. Also… bondage is cool. So maybe that stuff could be a placeholder for sex, but not if you’re not into it. Which is why I’m bringing it up.” 

“Huh.” Alex bites their lip, considering. “Is it weird that I’ve never really thought about it? I mean, other than some music videos in the 90s that were pretty hot. I don’t have any experience. But I could try.” 

John raises his eyebrows. “Try because you’re actually curious or try because you want to date me and it’s what I’m into?”

“Um… can I say both?”

John laughs. “At least you’re honest.”

“Seriously, though. We don’t _have_ to date. I like what we have now. But I am into you. And I’m curious about the stuff you like. And… I really want to kiss you, which is not very gentlemanly I guess but as previously covered I am both not strictly speaking a gentleman and also dude, I am like, _loopy_  tired right now. Does asexual mean no kissing?” 

John giggles, scooting closer, and Alex wants to record that sound so they can play it every single time they’re having a bad day. “This is a terrible idea. I should really make you wait for it,” he murmurs, inches away from Alex’s mouth.

“But you’re not particularly invested in heteronormative dating scripts, and also you think I’m adorable?” Alex suggests hopefully, their hand resting tentatively on John’s thigh.

“Yeah,” John agrees as he closes the rest of the distance between them. “Something like that.” 

~*~

_Present day_

“This is beautiful rope,” Lafayette comments, passing a hand over the bundles of colorful hemp hanging on hooks as they step into Alex’s bedroom. 

“Yeah, John likes to be tied up,” Alex smiles, winking at their boyfriend over their shoulder. This, at least, is more familiar territory. “If you’re interested, I bet he’d be game.” 

Lafayette’s smile is warm, if non-committal, as he turns back and tugs Alex further into the bedroom with his large hands encircling both wrists. “Perhaps. But you? What do you like?” he asks, his voice low and sexy as he tugs Alex in close enough that their arms are pressed between their bodies. 

“Um… you know… I’m pretty easy,” they shrug, feeling their cheeks heat a bit under Lafayette’s direct gaze. John’s hand presses to the small of their back, though, comforting, and while Lafayette’s intensity is startling and unfamiliar, they’re not quite ready to call it unwelcome.

Lafayette laughs, softly. “You are good at deviating attention,” he observes, leaning down and kissing just below Alex’s ear, taking the lobe between his teeth when they shiver. “I imagine you are good at other things, also. You do not need to be embarrassed, chérie.” He presses an open mouthed kiss to Alex’s neck, sucking lightly at the skin, and Alex jerks slightly like they suddenly want to escape their body. “If you are too shy to describe them, I am happy to learn for myself.”

“I’m not shy,” Alex argues, and behind them John smirks. “Quiet, you.” 

“I didn’t say anything,” John counters in his warm, amused tone, slipping a hand in to press against Alex’s hipbone and murmuring in their ear. “You two look good together, babe. Take a deep breath.” 

Alex does as they’re told, and while that feels slightly weird when it’s coming from their sub, it does help. John knows how Alex sometimes gets panicked, over-excited and difficult to contain. Lafayette also seems to have a good sense for that kind of thing, as he lets go of one wrist, keeping both pinned between their bodies, and gets a firm grip on the back of Alex’s neck, again pressing their foreheads lightly together. 

“ _Bien fait_ ,” Lafayette murmurs. “Breathe with me. Nothing you do not desire tonight.” 

It shouldn’t help, but it does. Alex feels trapped, but less like they're about to fly out of their skin with two men’s bodies trapping them in place, restraining their arms, making it impossible for them to do or offer anything. _Is this how John feels when we play?_

“ _Tellement belle_. I like the way your body it feels against me,” Lafayette confesses, his hand sliding between Alex’s shoulder blades and pressing their bodies tighter together so that they can feel the twin heartbeats. “Are you comfortable without your shirt?”

“Um… yeah. That’s fine.” Alex smiles up at him. “You know, contrary to popular belief, I’m not actually a blushing virgin. I do know how to do this.” 

Lafayette smiles indulgently, brushes the backs of his knuckles over Alex’s cheek before John helps them off with their shirt. “Not a virgin, anyway,” he teases. “I feel that I should ask what you think ‘this’ is. Or what limitations you have, _au moins_.” 

“Well… I’m not sure?” Alex admits. “It’s been a while since I got laid,” they laugh. “And if that’s not what we’re doing, I don’t… I guess start slow? And I’ll tell you if I don’t like something, does that work?” 

Lafayette nods. “And if you like something, also. Tell me that.” 

“Yeah,” Alex grins. “So far, so good.” 

Lafayette brightens at that, then addresses John over Alex’s shoulder, pulling them into a hug so that their cheek rests naturally at the crook of Lafayette’s neck and stroking his palm down their spine.  “How are you feeling, John? Would you like to be helpful for me tonight?” 

“Mmm, I am a hundred percent game for that.” Alex grins to themselves against Lafayette’s shirt, picturing one of John’s more seductive smiles.

“Excellent. First, I would like you to bring a glass of water for each of us. Then you can guide me in discovering what Alex is enjoying. I assume that you are an expert.”

John laughs. “Yeah, I know a thing or two. Then again… I’m guessing you probably know a thing or two from your side of the coin that I haven’t tried. I’d like to see that.” His hand strokes invitingly up over the curve of Alex’s ass, meeting Lafayette’s on bare skin for a moment before disappearing back to the kitchen. 

“I am glad that John approves,” Lafayette teases. “Lie on your back in the middle of the bed, please.” 

Alex moves to comply, but with Lafayette standing over them, a wave of insecurity rises and they bite their lip, considering. “Can I… I think I want to keep my underwear on tonight. Is that okay?” 

“Of course.” Lafayette smiles and toes his shoes off, then climbs onto the bed with Alex and sits next to their hip, stroking a firm palm from belly to throat and back down. “Thank you for telling me this.” Then he leans down, fits his mouth to Alex’s, and they completely forget to think. Lafayette kisses like sin, and before they even realize they’re doing it, their hips start lifting from the mattress and rolling against air. “Do you like that?” Lafayette murmurs against their lips after a minute of kissing, and with a slight squeeze Alex realizes that his hand has stopped moving but instead rests in place on Alex’s throat. Their eyes widen a bit, but when Lafayette pulls back slightly to check in, they nod quickly, bewildered, and part their lips again to silently ask for more kisses. Lafayette laughs lightly and indulges them.

“Water’s on the nightstand,” John murmurs, climbing into the bed with them. His hand is a steadying presence on Alex’s thigh, and they reach to squeeze it even as they find themselves somewhat needily trying to push up for harder kisses. Lafayette chuckles breathily and sits up, keeping his hand in place on their throat. 

“Eager _chiot_ ,” Lafayette smiles.

“What’s that?”

“Ah… a small dog? I am forgetting the English word.”

“Puppy!” John exclaims somewhat gleefully, and Alex manages to glare at him despite their position.

“Hey. That’s my collar you’re wearing, boy.”

“That’s his hand you’re wearing,” John counters, raising an eyebrow. Alex doesn’t have a good response for that, so they settle for a little huff. Lafayette loosens his grip and switches to stroking Alex’s throat instead.

“Do not embarrass them,” Lafayette rebukes softly. “They look beautiful with my hand around their neck.” Alex’s eyes drift back to Lafayette’s then and they feel slightly helpless. Before the uncertainty can rise, though, Lafayette exerts steady pressure on their chest with one hand, and then shifts to straddle their hips, prompting another lip bite as his weight settles in and the hand that was holding John’s gets trapped against his thigh. “Is this comfortable?”

“Yeah. Yeah, this is good,” Alex agrees. Not _comfortable_ , exactly, given how tight their pants feel, but the no-sex agreement for tonight is somewhat stabilizing and keeps their arousal from feeling dangerous.

“It is.” Lafayette’s hands shift, lightly squeezing Alex’s arms, working up from forearms to biceps, and then digging in a little tighter, to the point of pain. They frown a little, trying to process it. “Less?” Lafayette asks. “It does not have to hurt.” 

“I’m… not totally sure,” Alex admits. “I haven’t tried… I mean…”

“They’ve only done S&M stuff from the top,” John clarifies. “I honestly don’t think the idea ever occurred. Now I’m feeling stupid for not suggesting it, though.” He reaches for Alex’s head, stroking their hair apologetically.

“Dude. Not your fault. I’m not… I mean it’s not like I ever _wanted_  to…”

“But you do now?” Lafayette asks, hand straying to Alex’s nipple and pinching gently. 

“Mmm… I don’t really… is it cool if I’m not totally sure what’s happening right now?” Alex asks sheepishly. “I want you, though. Definitely. I’m good so far.” 

“Good.” Lafayette smiles, a little wicked, and then increases the pressure with his thumb and index finger.

“Oh _fuck_ ,” Alex exclaims, the initial pain a jolt that makes them jerk into the strength of Lafayette’s bracing thighs, but then it dulls into a wave of pleasant sensation and they lick their lips, blinking up at him. 

“Ah.” Lafayette smiles, does it again. Alex whimpers and squirms, the pressure painful but weirdly alluring. Their free hand fists at the duvet, eyes falling shut, and then they’re rewarded with a gentler rub, more like what John does sometimes in bed, caressing. Another hand finds their left nipple and the two work in counterpoint, squeezing and pinching and sometimes working the skin more gently until they’re a whimpering mess. And then both hands drift away, and they open their eyes into an accusing glare.

Lafayette laughs. “Exploration, chérie. Be patient.” They shift their glare to John, and he just laughs. 

“Not my predicament, love.”

“Yeah, _this_  time,” they threaten, though they lose track of the thread when Lafayette’s exploring hands find the dip just inside their hipbones, thumbs experimentally digging in and rubbing there. It’s close enough to their genitals to produce a decidedly sexual sensation, but also the pain as he digs in harder pushes at a more arousing note than any of the sadistic experimentation so far. Lafayette's smile is decidedly pleased, and Alex can’t summon the presence of mind to deflate any of that triumph with their usual teasing. “Fuck. That’s good.” 

“I can see. Do not close your eyes,” Lafayette suggests—no— _orders_ , if Alex is being honest, and damned if they don’t obey, locking onto Lafayette’s gaze as his hands explore new territory, stroking over ribs, digging around collarbones. When they start to squirm, Lafayette orders John to pin their free hand down. He scratches lightly at Alex’s chest and they preen, but it’s the eye contact that’s most intense, and after a few minutes of it they can’t help but glance to the side. 

“Alex,” Lafayette warns, pronouncing their name with a strong accent on the second syllable, and their eyes jerk back guilty. “That’s it. Good _chiot_. Good pet.” Alex blushes and has no idea what to do with the overwhelming warmth that inspires. They _really_  want to look away now. 

“Lafayette, I can’t…”

“Yes, you can,” he interrupts, confident, reaching to firmly grasp Alex’s jaw. It does help. “Look at me, beautiful. You are doing very well.” 

_Fuck, fuck, fuck_. Keeping eye contact is like torture. Then again, disobeying Lafayette’s words feels like it would be torture, too. They are _so_ confused. But the grip on their jaw tightens, and they whisper in affirmation, “I’m trying.” 

“I know,” Lafayette smiles. “So well. So beautiful. Bite.” His hand shifts so that the web of skin between thumb and forefinger is at Alex’s lips, and they open their mouth to gently hold that skin in their teeth, Lafayette’s hand forming a makeshift gag. His thumb and finger dig in enough that it hurts, but more importantly it makes Alex feel _controlled_. “Harder,” Lafayette murmurs, and when they do it, he hisses, not letting his gaze drop. “ _Mon dieu_. I could do so many things to you,” he says in a low, rumbling promise, the other hand clasping around Alex’s neck again. They think it’s lucky that their mouth isn’t free, as right now they’re in terrible danger of saying _yes_. 

~*~

“More than that,” Lafayette chides, after their play, when Alex tries to take just a few sips of water. 

“Come on. It’s not like you beat me,” Alex argues, rolling their eyes.

“No, but I will if you do not drink at least half of that glass.” He doesn’t sound serious, but Alex swallows down the water anyway, and pretends John is laughing with them and not at them.

“No beatings. I surrender.” Lafayette laughs warm in their ear, holding them close against his now-bare chest, and Alex feels more of that swelling sensation in their chest that seems really, really dangerous. Trouble is, they’ve always been attracted to danger.

“I’ll take the beatings on their behalf, if necessary,” John suggests, drinking some of his own water before curling up against the two of them on Lafayette’s right side. 

“I will remember that,” Lafayette replies, lifting his arm to make space for John underneath and working his ponytail loose to finger-comb through his hair. Alex smiles to themselves as John starts making a predictable purring sound.

“I thought you were going to move in on John when you came over here,” Alex admits. “You kind of caught me off balance.” 

“Ah.” Lafayette kisses their temple. “I would enjoy playing with John. I also would enjoy co-topping, is that right? With you.” 

“Yeah, that’s right. That could be fun.” 

“Yes. But I wanted this,” Lafayette continues, his free hand coming to rest lightly on Alex’s throat. It still sends a little shiver through them, calming their mind eerily quickly. “I sensed something… precious about what might be with you. This… what we are doing. I was wanting to know if it was possible. And sometimes new submission is a tender thing. I wanted to try this, first, before you would become… comfortable with me. Familiar. As two dominants. Am I comprehending?”

“Making sense, I think you mean,” John corrects gently. “And yeah, you are, to me anyway. I’d love to play with you sometime, but I don’t mind waiting.” He reaches for Alex, squeezes their thigh. “And I think you’re right. I’m glad I got to participate.” 

“Need you here,” Alex mumbles, their eyes falling shut as they drift a bit in the pleasant post-scene haze, not wanting to fully sort through what Lafayette’s saying just yet. “Does…submission,” they ask hesitantly, tasting the word with reference to themselves for the first time, “always feel like this?”

“If you get lucky,” John agrees, guiding their hand to his collar. Eyes still closed, they smile and tug lightly at its ring. 

“Love you, _mi niñito_.” 

“ _Yo también_ ,” they hear John reply before they start to drift off.


End file.
